Saturday, 20 June 2009

Prince Charles as bulldozer

History is taught to fewer children, and known to less adults who ought to, judging by Any Questions this week. I am no exception: how many can put today's constitutional teazer pithily and to the point?

Q: If the Queen is a Constitutional Monarch, does this mean that HRH Prince Charles (I can't recall all his other military, social, territorial, historical and Gordonstoun nicknames), so will call him PC for short (or just Plod)...Does not the link mean that Plod as Elder Son and the Official Heir to the Imperial Throne of all the - no that's wrong - anyway the British Throne of, well, us also bound to act at least publicly as her Constitutional Son and Heir, and constitutionally speaking does not this mean he must not interfere in our hard won democraticatic proceedures, whatever his views.

And if so, (bear with me) does this mean he was acting unconstitutionally in persuading the Arab princes who own the Chelsea Barracks site to withdraw their planning application to Westminster Council just when the plans had been apparently approved.?

Many Plod Pals, not least Alan Duncan, Tessa Jowell, Julia Neuburger, all on Question Time this week, have argued that because Plod has done great things for youth, this means that however awful Poundbury is (the name must be the clue) we the nation should support his spiking renowned architect Rogers' plans for the Chelsea site at the last moment and most undemocratically . And that we the nation should not worry about the upstairsdownstairsbehindstairs way prince Plod (AKA Plot) did it, apparently by writing a personal letter to the owners, some other prince plods. I myself found Alan-Tessa-Julia-'s arguments for Plod illogical, so gratis as an ex history BA I am supplying them with a better one:

Anyone who submits a planning application is free to withdraw it any time, so why shouldn't the Chelsea barracks owners have done so last week? I am no legal expert but it surely is their business why they waited so long in fact years, indeed until they had the approval more or less through, to withdraw their application. And why should not Plod have given them his view? And why should they not have acted on it?

To help all our hapless history students Alan-Julia-Tessa: Here's an analogy. I want to reduce our huge utilities bills to include a row of solar panels in the only place possible, sited in public view along the front gable, Then my stuffy great-uncle comes to supper just when I have after two years won my hard fought planning permission from the council on exceptional environmental urgency grounds... And then over a really lovely vegan supper just last night my bad-tempered grouse-shooting trad-loving rather ugly great-uncle says he won't invite me to his glamourous grouse moors any more if I don't withdraw my application after all...isn't that perfectly legal if mean of my cousin, and legal of me of course, and nobody's business but our own?

Of course it is. Of course the little Plods said, 'of course Big Plod'.

What would you have done? Fancy being blackballed by the biggest noble prince in the world? Of course not. We just don't understand the world importance of our great Plod to the world's developers/Royal Plods/real estate men.


On second thought forget MONEY just think STATUS.

But whence comes Plod's Status?
This is where, logic and history-bound, I Flip, Plodpals.

Here's the answer to question 'whence'?: Easy - Status eg power and influence, does not come from Plod's billions, nor from his biscuits, nor yet from dosh given to charity. It comes from his big big
constitutional status as the
hereditary Monarch's
hereditary Heir
to the Throne of the UK.

So Alan Julia Tessa, here's the point, and if if a hapless history student can get it, you should have.

What's all right for you, (in theory me), is not all right for PLOD.

As for you, aged PLOD, you obviously never had a history lesson in your life. (Ah yes, he had to be given one of those sham degrees, long long ago.)

Then Write out 100 times: Must not interfere with planning applications (not to mention lots of other democratic proceedures). Why not? Because I am Prince (Plod). May (not nice but) do so only if I abdidcate and become Minister. Signed, Plod. (Another 50 for mispelling that long word. I had hoped you were beginning to know that one by now.)

1 comment:

judikaz said...

plod on you commie anti-plods
lucinda darjeeling